Read below how Chase and Hunt get settled with your private investigation office. If you haven’t read the beginning, you can start with the prologue. You get the whole book at Chase and Hunt Investigations.
Six weeks later ensconced in a small but attractive ground floor office with three rooms and a reception area located less than a half mile from Frisco’s famous Fisherman’s Wharf ; Chase-Hunt Investigations, Inc. is almost ready to be opened for business. There’s still quite a bit of nit-picky stuff to be done however. A secretary has to be hired that can put up with both men’s playful antics. Some kind of promotional activity has to be developed. Phones, computers, faxes, internet access, etcetera all have to be purchased and installed.
With the amount of money shelled out by both of them already; they are beginning to wonder if this had been such a smart idea after all. Several women answer the advertisement for a secretary. Most can’t make it through the two men’s clowning around during their interviews. There is one candidate, however, a woman by the name of Candice Carmichael who both men agree, seems to be able to dish out as good as she gets. If Chase makes a less than politically correct suggestion; the woman shocks him by making a suggestion that’s far less politically correct.
When Hunt jokes about how bad his handwriting is; the women comes back with; “John, let’s get with the new millennium. It’s 2005 have ya ever heard of a computer notepad?”
Chase confesses that he’s a bad speller. The woman replies; “Well then Jimmy boy, ya better make sure you get a spell checker on your computers and try using it how about it.”
Hunt asks how she’ll answer the phone and the woman replies; “with my mouth. You tell me chief. How do you want it answered? I’ll answer that way. If you want me to answer Laurel and Hardy detective agency; I’ll answer it that way.”
Chase asks; “will you make us coffee and go out and get us lunch?”
The woman answers; “No, but I’ll make ME coffee and let you guys have some and when I go out to eat I’ll be sure to have the restaurant put my leftovers in a doggie bag to bring back for you.”
When she’s asked what she expects her hours to be; she responds; “probably pretty shitty. It doesn’t sound like you guys have a clue what your own hours will be so I’ll probably have to give you two each a wake-up call every morning to get you to come down and open the place up.”
When Chase asks how she wants to get paid; weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, check, direct deposit; the woman answers; “regularly and not in Pesos.”
When the pair tells her that they are planning on paying her U$480.00 for a 40-hour week plus time and a half for any overtime; she responds; “U$720.00 per week and I’ll work a six day week Monday thru Saturday for as long as you need me with no additional overtime.”
They settle on a five day week for as long as they’d need her each day at U$600.00 plus O.T. on weekends.
When the two men ask what benefits she requires she responds; “Three days off for each Holiday to go visit my mom; health insurance after three months here; a 6% cost of living raise annually and a business Cellphone.”
Both men like her. Chase jokes; “Hey Candice you’re our kind of woman. Will you marry me?”
Candice replies flatly; “that’ll cost you an extra hundred a week and expect me to have a headache at least three days a week.”
Chase smiles and looks over at Hunt for approval and gets the nod. “You’re hired Candice. When can you start?”
Candice’s reply; “well, if at least one of you two jokers can break away from your joke writing for your stand-up acts at the comedy club this weekend; I’d suggest that maybe we head out now and go shopping for a phone system, fax, some computers, a color printer, three business cellphones, some furniture for the reception area might be nice, a large coffee urn and a small office fridge. Do you need me to drive or can we use one of your cars?”
“Does that mean you can start today?” Hunt asks.
“No bossman, it means I’ve already started. Now which one of you wants to go shopping?”
Chase replies; “we’ll both go. I’m not sure either one of us is safe with you alone;” and he laughs.
Candice stands up; “well, are we going?”
Hunt answers; “Yes boss lady.” And then he laughs.
Candice is more than an efficient secretary; she’s a god damn android. During the purchasing of all the needed office equipment; Candice is the one who asks about each piece’s specs, takes notes, compares models and points to the ones she thinks the office should have. She argues with clerks to get extra software thrown in with the computer purchases. She gets colored ink cartridges tossed in with the printer bought. She gets a free 1-year service agreement for the fax. An answering machine is purchased that can be remotely accessed so that Chase and Hunt can check if they have any calls whenever they’re out playing on the weekends. Candice wrangles a month free trial use from the Internet service provider. The woman gets the company they buy their phone system from to promise to have it installed tomorrow or they can keep it and she’ll look elsewhere. Candice manages to coax the sales clerk into a more than excellent discount on the three matching cellphones they purchase. She had gently reminded him that there were probably a dozen shops within walking distance where they could buy the identical phones and that they were all willing to walk a little until they got the price she wanted. Next comes the registering with the phone company followed by a trip to a bank to open both business savings and checking accounts.
Registering their company address at the main Post Office is the trio’s next stop. At a local sign shop Candice has the owner send a man over to stencil a sign on their front door’s window. Candice then takes the threesome over to a small printer and has very professional looking, two color, business cards printed up on embossed paper. Her cards read; Chase-Hunt Investigations, Inc. – Candice Carmichael — Executive Assistant.The coffee urn she selects holds 24 cups. She buys a nice Brazilian blend to use in it plus several large grip cups, some cream and sugar bowls, a set of tiny silver spoons and a serving tray. Candice immediately buys drinks and snacks to stock the small fridge with. The water cooler is to be delivered the same day and an agreement is signed for weekly bottle replacements. The reception area furniture is strong, utilitarian, dark enough to hide stains, made of material easy to clean and comfortable enough to keep a waiting client sitting for an extended period. The matching furniture set includes two chairs and one small sofa plus two end tables that would be placed at the two ends of the sofa each flanked by one of the chairs. A small coffee table is added for in front of the sofa. It’s an attractive setting that can comfortably seat five guests. Candice even stops at a magazine Kiosk and selects an assortment of several magazines for the office coffee and end tables.
Next, a special strong stand is added to the purchases for the large coffee urn. Candice’s desk, chair and computer kiosk were all steel and glass. She gets for the top of her desk a rolodex, a daily calendar pad, a large leather writing pad, stacked in/out boxes and a pen holder. A black with silver trim, metal, locking three cabinet, file case is purchased as well as a smaller matching single cabinet case that fits nicely under her desk. Two relatively inexpensive works of art by a local cityscape painter are purchased for the office walls. For the two men’s offices; two pairs of matching chairs are ordered to be placed in front of their desks for clients. The third room, which is planned to be used as a conference and interview room, already, has a large table and four chairs so Candice only adds a whiteboard for the wall and small side table with drawers where paper and pens can be kept. What truly amazes the two men is all this is accomplished in the course of a single afternoon.
They knew that if they had attempted this office furnishing without Candice it would have cost them a hell of a lot more; they’d have had far fewer extras, the place wouldn’t have looked half as nice, they probably would have forgot completely about many of the little added touches and it probably would have took them a couple weeks or more to accomplish it. The woman is amazing. Both men agree that a meal at a fine restaurant is in order for their new employee. Candice, however, has a different idea. She gets on her new company cellphone and orders Chinese takeout sent to the office. While the three munch away out of paper containers they begin setting up some of the purchases that they had brought back with them plus those that are already been delivered. By 10pm that night; the new firm’s three computers already have their software installed and the color printer is hooked up to them. The water cooler, which had been delivered as ordered, is already tucked away in a corner of the front reception room. The small refrigerator is plugged in next to it. The large coffee urn is, even at that moment, perking out some fresh brewed Brazilian blend coffee from its special sturdy stand just to the right rear of where Candice decides her desk will be when it arrives. Throughout this whole ordeal; Candice actually appears to be having fun. The rest of the furniture will arrive the next day.
Candice reports in for work the next morning at an eye opening 7:30am. She stands at the ground floor entrance ringing the doorbell until both men wake up and drag their weary asses down from their second floor two bedroom apartment that they also rent just above their business offices.
“If you two plan on sleeping in everyday; I’ll need my own key;” she states; “I’m not going to just stand around out there when it’s cold or raining.”
The two men look at their watches; see it’s only 7:35am and shake their heads. 7:35am is NOT considered ‘sleeping in’ by either Chase or Hunt; 10:35am maybe. By 8:00am, Candice already has brewed their coffee and put some croissants out on her new boss’ desks and issues orders not to make a mess. By 11:00am, the remaining office furniture arrives and with Candice, acting as de facto shop foremen over the three movers and her two new bosses, has every piece of furniture where she wants it by 11:40am. She tops this little office decorating ordeal off by laying out neatly the assorted magazines she had selected yesterday on each of the setting’s small tables. After lunch, which both Chase and Hunt insist that they take Candice to a nice little restaurant down the street; their telephone system is installed and both telephone and Internet hook-ups are confirmed. The new detective agency now has three active office lines, two private lines, one dedicated Internet line and another dedicated line for its fax plus an answering machine added to the system to take calls evenings and weekends.
By the end of Wednesday evening, in their first week after finding and signing the rental agreement on their new office and living spaces; Chase-Hunt Investigations, Inc. is fully decked out, up and running. It’s a phenomenal feat that the two men both credit to the whirling dervish they had hired as a secretary only Tuesday morning. Thursday morning both Chase and Hunt have their alarms set for 7:00am so they’re downstairs waiting when Candice arrives. Candice bursts in with her usual level of energy and says; “I’m impressed. You’re both up before noon. Now let’s get down to work. We’ve got to make some money guys to pay for this smart looking office I’ve put together here. First, we’ve got to get this agency’s name out there for people to see.”
Chase and Hunt both grin. Hunt speaks first; “Chase and I have kinda developed a newspaper advert we can place in several of the local papers.”
“Let me see it;” Candice snaps back.
Hunt takes the advertisement off his desk and hands it to Candice. Candice looks at it a few seconds and then hands it back to Hunt with no comment. She turns, walks out of Hunt’s office to her newly furnished desk in the front reception area; pulls out the copy of the ‘Yellow Pages’ that she had gotten from the phone company when they had applied for the phone lines; opens the thick book to where listings of Private Detectives and Private Investigators can be found; returns to Hunt’s office and tosses the open book on Hunt’s desk.
“Your little agency has got some competition in this town gents. That little ad that you guys have made up won’t generate you enough work to pay for our monthly coffee. Sit down boss men. I’ve got an idea I want to run by you.”
The two sit down as ordered. Both men wonder if Candice calling them ‘Boss men’ all the time is just to soothe their wounded egos. Both Chase and Hunt are pretty sure who’s running this new little agency and it isn’t either one of them.
Candice starts her pitch; “Guys, you showed me your resumes and citations when I came for my interview Tuesday morning. They’re impressive; Police Science training, five years on a major police force, numerous citations, medals of valor, good stuff. I have a friend I went to school with who is a writer for one of the local dailies. Let me give her a call and maybe I can talk her into convincing her editor to do a human interest story on you guys for the Feature Section of the newspaper. A newspaper article on you guys will draw a lot more immediate attention on this agency then any small ad will, especially one slapped alongside hundreds of other small ads that are a damn side better, I might add.”
Chase and Hunt look at each other a moment and then back at Candice. Chase speaks first; “Do you actually think that you can get your friend to do this Candice?”
“I’m not worried about convincing her bossman; I just hope that she can convince her editor. If she can, a story in the Sunday Feature Section will be read by a hell of a lot more people than any advertisement you two characters manage to turn out.”
“OK big boss lady;” Chase says facetiously; “give your friend a call.”
“Sure, but if she gets the OK; you two have to promise me that you’ll act like a couple of stand-up, decorated police detectives during the interview. None of your Laurel and Hardy routine, OK?”
Both men laugh and Hunt replies; “It will be difficult Candice but we’ll give it our best efforts.”
Candice calls her friend at the Herald and pitches her idea at about 8:30am. By 11:00 am Candice hears back from her friend that her editor likes the idea but wants to add his own spin to the feature turning it into a series. She continues telling Candice that her boss wants to label the series something like ‘Frisco Attracts America’s Best’.
“We would start the series off with your decorated detectives Candice with an article like ‘Frisco Attracts the Best Investigators’” Candice’s friend states.
“If the article is a success; then my editor wants me to track down other top professionals like doctors, lawyers, entrepreneurs, etcetera that have migrated to Frisco from elsewhere.”
“That’s great Barb, so when do you want to meet my two new bosses?”
“Would 3pm this afternoon be convenient for them Candice? It’s already too late to get the story in this Sunday’s feature section but if we want it in next week’s we better get the interview under our belts so I have time to write it up and submit the story to my editors.”
“I’ll free up their calendar Barb and have them both here at 3pm;” and Candice gave her friend the Agency’s address.
After she hangs up with her friend, Candice walks back to Chase’ office and motions for him to follow her into Hunt’s. Chase obediently follows.
Once all are together; Candice opens up on them with one giant salvo after another; “OK guys, listen up and listen good. You’ve got a 3pm appointment scheduled with a feature writer from the Herald; this town’s largest circulation newspaper. She’s got an OK from her editor to do a Sunday Feature story on you two under a heading ‘Frisco Attracts the Best;’ so I need you two clowns to ACT LIKE THE BEST.” She almost screams out. “Now I’ll set up a nice comfortable interview environment in the conference room. I’ll have some coffee, snacks, copies of your resumes and citations, some nice pens for you both to fiddle with and a couple of leather bound notebooks that you can fake taking notes in; you know; like REAL detectives would do. Now, I need you two fashion disasters to get respectable. You must own suits right? And damn guys, you better own better ties then the ones you have on or we’ll have to rush out during lunchtime and get you some.”
After Candice appears to have finished her chastising; the two dazed detectives look at one another and break out laughing. Chase manages to get out through his laughter; “I love this woman. If she’d pulled me by my ear to get my attention I’d swear she was my mother.”
Hunt chokes out; “Yeah partner, it looks like we hired a real good boss lady.”
Candice stands, walks over to Chase and pulls him to his feet by his ear and states; “I’m glad that you two are both happy. Now make me happy by getting your asses upstairs and changing into your best detective suits. I want to inspect you before lunch so I’ll know if I have to make a side trip over break to purchase any new accessories. Well, get going. Scoot. Don’t stand there grinning like a pair of Cheshire cats. Move your butts.”
Chase snaps to attention and salutes Candice like he’s back in the police academy. Hunt shouts; “yes mahm, sergeant mahm.”
And they both head up to change. Upon coming back down Candice gives both the men a quick once over much like a drill instructor inspecting the troops on parade. She is pleasantly surprised. Both men pass muster quite handsomely.
“You two jokers clean up pretty good;” she announces.
The two men are damn near in shock; they can’t believe they passed inspection on the first pass. Candice orders them to remove their jackets, ties and shirts over lunch. She isn’t about to take any chances with these two spilling mustard on the attires she has just approved. Lunch is once again ordered in; this time it’s a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken with mash potato and cold slaw side orders. Drinks are pulled out of their new small fridge. The trio manages to eat and clean up by 1pm. Now they just have to wait for two long hours before the Herald writer would arrive. Candice takes them through some practice questions and answers for about an hour and finally lets them put their shirts, ties and suit jackets back on around 2:15pm. Candice’s friend, the San Francisco Herald Feature Writer arrives early at 2:55pm. The interview lasts nearly until 5pm. This woman is almost as thorough as Candice in her questioning. The boys feel completely drained by the end of the session. Candice, however, is smiling as is her writer friend. Candice’s two goofy bosses had managed to pull it off. The Herald writer actually considers them real detectives and a good human interest story. Chase and Hunt offer to take the two ladies out to dinner but they jointly decline saying that they have plans of their own to do a little catching up on each other’s lives. Once the ladies have left; the two men immediately shed their jackets and ties and head out to unwind from the stressful interview with a few pre-dinner cocktails.
Friday morning starts at the same ungodly hour of 7:30am. The two men this morning come down wearing suits and ties that Candice actually approves of.
“What’s on our busy schedule today big boss lady?’ Hunt asks facetiously.
Candice replies seriously; “I’ve made an appointment for you two to meet with an ex-boyfriend of mine. He’s a detective Lieutenant with the San Francisco P.D. in Burglary-Auto Theft Division. He may be able to give you guys a little insight into the kind of cases you two will get in Frisco.”
“Ahhhh, Candice; if he’s your ex; why would he consent to talk with us?” Chase asks.
“Don’t sweat it bossman; Bill’s and my split was an amicable one; he already had a wife and I was already being hit on by a better looking guy.”
The two men laugh. “When are we scheduled to meet him Candice?”
“When he gets here which better be damn soon; I told him to be here by eight. Why don’t you two go back to your offices; toss your empty leather bound notebooks on your desks, fiddle about a little on your new computers and make yourselves look busy. I’ll bring him in when he arrives.”
The two men do as instructed. Chase gets on his new computer and begins working on designing a client database. Hunt also gets on his computer to work on creating a logo and letterhead for the firm. Both men just get going at their tasks when Candice walks in and informs them that they have a guest who she has put in the conference room. Leaving their computers on; they get up and head for the conference room. When they enter a dark, rather dapper looking man in a dark suit sets down the coffee cup he’s drinking from and stands for introductions. Both Chase and Hunt hold out their hands simultaneously to shake their guest’s hand. Candice does the introductions.
“Bill, meet my new bosses; James Chase and John Hunt; Bossmen; this is Lieutenant William Harmon S.F.P.D.” The three men exchange handshakes, polite greetings and then sit down.
“So, what is it that I can do for you two gentlemen?” Lieutenant Harmon asks.
Chase answers first; “Honestly Lieutenant; we don’t know. We were only told about you less than fifteen minutes ago by Candice. We don’t even know how much you know about us.”
The police Lieutenant smiles, pulls out a small notebook, flips it open and begins reading; “James Chase, 28, born in Elm Grove, Illinois just outside Chicago; received an Associate degree in Police Science in 1999, graduated in the top 10 percent of his class at the Chicago Police Academy; two years as patrolman, three as a robbery-homicide detective, seven departmental citations, one medal of valor. John Hunt, pretty much a mirror image of James here except you served your three years as a detective in Vice-Narcotics. How am I doing so far guys?” Bill Harmon asks with his smile continuing to grow.
Both Chase and Hunt smile back. Chase quips; “Yeah but do you know my favorite color?”
Bill Harmon laughs and replies; “Police Blue.”
All three men laugh at that. “So;” Hunt begins; “I take it that Candice has briefed you a bit about us; unfortunately Lieutenant; she hasn’t seen fit to do the same for us.”
The police detective chuckles; “you two are going to have to get use to Candice’s little quirks. She’s a great gal; let me tell you; a real dynamo and organized almost to the level of being programmed like a computer. The woman can accomplish more in a day than I can do in a week but ya have to learn to just turn her loose and let her do her own thing. Candice doesn’t like to be micro-managed. She’s independent almost to a fault. She has her own style, her own tempo, and her own methods. Just tell her that you need something and then let her go and don’t fret about how she goes about getting it.”
Chase jumps in; “we kinda got an inkling of what you’re saying already Lieutenant.”
“Please guys, call me Bill ok?”
“Thanks Bill, Jim’s good for me.”
“Yeah, Bill, John’s good with me. By the way, did you get a look at our offices?”
“Yeah, they’re nice; a damn side better than mine.”
“Well Bill they didn’t even exist three days ago. That pint sized tornado out in our reception room blew everything into its proper place just since Tuesday.”
Bill roars with laughter; “so you two learned fast to just turn Candice loose. Yeah, the woman is something else alright.”
Chase replies also through a chuckle; “yeah Bill and if you ever find out what that something else is; you be damn sure to tell us ok?”All three men laugh again.
After they all quiet down some Bill asks; “so what kind of cases are you boys looking to focus on? Divorce cases? Missing Persons? Intellectual Property Piracy? What?”
“Actually Bill;” Chase starts; “we haven’t decided which case areas we’ll focus on if any. The reason we went private is we want to be able to turn down cases that will sink us into cesspools. Robbery-Homicide sucked. Day in and day out you were hunting down psychopathic killers and sociopathic robbers. Pete here dealt with all of society’s sleezeballs, perverts and junkies in Vice-Narcotics. The types of cases you mentioned ALL appeal to us. At least when they’re over we won’t feel like we rolled around for a while in a giant vat of excrement.”
Bill nods and then responds; “Yeah, I see where you two are coming from. I spent two years myself in Robbery-Homicide and asked for a transfer to Burglary because I was sick of seeing dead, decomposing bodies all the time and I imagine Chicago was even worse. I tell ya what guys; if I hear of any work I’ll be glad to pass it your way and if you need a plate or phone number ran through the computers give me a call. I don’t know what else I can do for you though.”
“Jesus Bill thanks;” Hunt jumps in; “that’s more than we could have hoped for already. You’re a real stand up guy.”
“Glad to help a couple of fellow detectives who’ve already been through the shit John and besides; ya know if I didn’t help you two your secretary would probably shove a crowbar up my ass.”
All three men laugh again at that statement. “I gotta go guys;” Bill says as he stands up; “I have an appointment at ten I got to get to.”
Chase and Hunt both stand to shake Bill’s hand and escort him out. Chase adds as they are moving towards the door; “Bill, could we interest you in a dinner and some drinks when you got the time?”
“I’m always up for good food and drinks with friends;” and he pulls out a couple of his business cards and hands one to both Chase and Hunt. “Give me a call this weekend and maybe I can introduce you to a couple of the guys.”
The two private cops reciprocate and each gives one of his brand new business cards to Bill. “We’ll ring you up tomorrow and see when you’re free for that food and drink;” Chase says as he shakes Bill’s hand one last time.
When the three men enter the reception area Candice is at her desk doing something on her computer. She turns and asks; “So did you guys get some business conducted or did you three clowns just sit about laughing at shared Candice anecdotes?”
All three men laugh. Bill says as he gets to the door; “see ya Carmel Candy; you’ve got two stand up bosses here; try not to make them crazy.”
Candice flips him the bird but she’s a smiling as she does it. Bill leaves, also smiling. Candice turns to Chase and Hunt who are standing behind her with their own smiles on their faces.
“So, you two have a good bull session with Bill? Are you ready to get to work now? Yo Jimbo, I’ve been working on that format for a client database that you left on your computer. I had to add a few things and you may want to add a few more but the basic format is in place. I created a little extra room for client comments and evidence specifics. Your boxes didn’t have enough.”
Chase looks down at Candice’s computer screen and what he sees looks great; professional, utilitarian, easily usable; ‘Jesus Christ;’ he thinks; ‘this woman really is an automaton.’
“Thanks Candice, it looks great” and he says it like he really means it; “I’ll give it a closer look on my machine.”
Hunt jumps in with a chuckle; “well we know who supergirl’s favorite is now. I had work on my machine as well Candice.”
“Yeah, I know;” she replies; “but yours was easy;” and she pulls up a second file on her computer, hits print and the printer starts humming.
The two men walk over to the printer just in time to watch a sheet come out emblazoned with their company’s new letterhead complete with a logo that has an ‘Eye’ looking through a ‘Magnifying Glass’.
“I’ll take a copy of this on a USB down to that printer who did your cards and have him print up a stack of 500 over lunch.”
“You’ll have to find something else to fill your time now Johnny me boy ;” Candice suggests and then turns back to her computer and pulls up a third file and starts working on it.
I guess that’s their cue to leave and let her get back to her work so they do just that each heading back to his office to think of something productive to accomplish before their unbelievably efficient secretary can come back to tell them that she’s already done it. During lunch, Chase and Hunt eat together while Candice splits off from them to head over to the printer to get their letterheads printed up before eating lunch herself. Friday afternoon progresses quietly. Chase and Hunt both try to stay busy but Candice manages to stay productive creating a billing form for the firm. When Friday evening finally comes, Chase and Hunt hand Candice her first week’s pay. Candice opens the envelope to find company check 0001 with her name on it for the amount of U$600.00.
She smiles; looks up at her two new bosses and says; “You paid me too much. I started work mid-Tuesday not Monday morning. This is a whole week’s pay.”
“Consider it a welcome aboard bonus for all the fine work you did this week getting this place up and running so quickly;” is Hunt’s response.
“Thanks boss but next week; let me make up the check. You’re handwriting sucks and I’ll remember to take the withholdings out for federal, state and social security taxes.”
Hunt and Chase both break out laughing. “Can we take you to dinner tonight?” Chase asks.
“I tell you what boss men, since you paid me for an extra day why don’t you two come over to my apartment and I’ll make you both a real home cooked meal. Do you like Italian?”
“Italian’s great but Candice you have to at least let us buy the ingredients.” Chase counters.
“Deal;” Candice shoots back. “I hope you like Pasta.”
Candice is turning out to be better than just an outstanding secretary or executive assistant. Candice is turning out to be a valued new friend and an intricate member of the agency’s team.
You can read how Chase and Hunt handle their case at The Andrea Dubois Stalker Case or you get the whole book at Chase and Hunt Investigations.